有一个病人去复诊，医生问他：“我给你开的是一天吃一吃药，这才几天，你就都吃完了？”病人不好意思的说道：“我就想打我体内的细菌一个措手不及”。
A patient went to see the doctor again. The doctor asked him, "What I prescribed is to take some medicine once a day. How many days have you had it all?" The patient embarrasedly say: "I just want to hit the bacterium inside my body a catch by surprise".
我给你讲个一个励志故事吧，以前有一个爱美的草莓，它每天都坚持敷面膜，后来它就变成了圣女果，还有一颗不爱保养的草莓，它每天都大吃大喝，最后它就变成了荔枝（励志）。
Let me tell you a motivational story, there was a love of beauty strawberry, it every day adhere to the face mask, then it became cherry tomatoes, there is a love of strawberry, it every day eating and drinking, finally it became lychee (inspirational).
这天奈何桥的孟婆迎来了一个洗不掉记忆的难缠过客，孟婆：求你了，快别喝了，后面的人还等着呢！男：不行，我喝了这么多碗还是忘不掉她啊！孟婆看着他摇里摇头说道：“舔狗真是不得好死呀”！
This day how bridge meng Po ushered in a wash out of the memory of the difficult guest, Meng Po: please, don drink quickly, behind the people are still waiting! Male: not line, I drank so many bowl still can forget her! Meng Po looked at him shaking his head and said: "Licking the dog is not a good death!"
小时候我们都会唱：“小燕子，穿花衣，年年春天来这里”，我很不解为何它年年都要来这里。今天我在路上就看见了一只燕子，为了解开我童年的疑问，我就问它：“为什么年年春天来这里”？燕子傲娇地对我说：“管好你自己”。
When we were children, we would sing, "Little swallow, dressed in flowers, come here every spring." I couldn understand why he came here every year. Today I saw a swallow on the road, in order to solve the question of my childhood, I asked it: "Why come here every spring"? Swallow tsundere said to me, "mind your own business."
今天小明的高考成绩终于出来了，他爸对着查完成绩的小明说：“你考得怎么样？多少分？如果太差的话，那你就不要认我这个爸了”。小明：“这位大叔，你问你是谁呀”？
Today, Xiao Mings college entrance examination results finally came out. His father said to xiao Ming after checking the results, "How did you do in the exam? How many points? If that sucks, then you don want to own me." Xiaoming: "This uncle, you ask who you are"?
作为当代大学生的最后倔强是什么呢？我想大概就是一边吐槽抱怨自己学校食堂的饭不好吃，一边又在打饭的时候希望食堂的阿姨可以给你多打一点。
What is the last stubbornness of contemporary college students? I think its probably just to make fun of and complain about the food in the school canteen, and at the same time, I hope the aunt in the canteen can give you more calls.
我妈给我外婆买了锦鲤养着解解闷，外婆每天精心照料着，可是有一天外婆出去买菜回来发现，由于外公的疏忽，把鱼都给烫死了，外婆伤心极了；我回去一直安慰她，她一边拉着我的手一边说：“都怪这个死老头子，我都已经养到可以做清蒸鱼的大小了，这下被他烫死了，肯定腥了，看来现在只能做红烧鱼了”。我……
My mother bought my grandmother raised koi files, grandma every day care, but one day my grandmother go out to buy food back, found that owing to the negligence of grandpa, all the fish to the hot dead,
grandma is so sad, I went back to have been to comfort her, she took my hand and said: "all blame this dead old man, I have to raise to can do the size of the steamed fish, this is his hot dead, definitely xing, it seems that now can only do braise in soy sauce fish". I……
结语：人生如此枯燥无聊，我们总得从文字里发现一点属于自己的乐趣吧！
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